Something I don't understand

[EpsilonX]

What is with this mentality in today's society where, at least for teens and young adults, if you don't drink/smoke weed then you're weird, or something? People automatically assume that I smoke weed and drink, and when they find out that I don't they freak out and try to pressure me into it. Now, i don't fall victim to peer pressure or bullying at all, but it irritates me to no end when people do this. Why don't people understand that there are people out there that simply have no interest in drugs? Even more so, people don't understand the concept of wanting to be clean, or straight edge in general. If people aren't trying to question why I don't drink or smoke, then they're saying "at least try it so you can say you've tried it." The thing is though, people just don't understand that I like being able to say i've never drank or smoked. Just because somebody else does enjoy it doesn't mean everybody else does, or even wants to attempt to. I like being able to say i've never done drugs, and simply trying it ruins that. At that point, it doesn't matter if you take 1 sip or if you chug 10 cans, take 1 hit or smoke all day, you lost the "never drank or smoked" aspect of you. I'm not necessarily saying everybody has to be of the mentality that never having smoked or drank is a good/bad thing, but I personally enjoy that facet of my being, and it pisses me off when people don't realize that. Then they get mad when they keep telling me to try the beer and i start swearing at them and it kills their buzz. If you don't want me to be a buzzkill, then don't be a prick.

I needed to get that out of my system. end rant.

[foof]

I've lost countless friends just because I don't smoke weed or drink. Pretty good friends too. Sometimes it just changes people.

"Hey you wanna smoke weed?"

No not really.

"You're lameeeee"

Okay.

^^^^^^^^

That's how I lost one of my best friends.

I hate when people base their entire social life around smoking pot with friends.

[EpsilonX]

I mean, people don't tend to understand until you say "well i'm straight edge" but straight edge is kinda like saying you're a vegan or whatever, people kinda think of you as differently. Not super differently, but like...leading an alternative lifestyle. I don't think I'm leading an alternative lifestyle. In fact, the vast majority of the time I don't even acknowledge the existance of drugs and alcohol, and because of that I don't like to say i'm Straight Edge. Straight Edge seems to be against doing drugs and stuff. I just don't consider drugs a part of my life. I don't see it as something I have to advertise or stand up for or anything. I also have no interest in becoming a professional Volleyball player, but I don't need to go around defending that choice of mine, do I?

[LiNuX]

I'm with you guys too. I never drink or smoke. My friends and family aren't like me though. And in school, I've been in your shoes when people think it's weird that I don't smoke or drink (especially drink).

But it never bothered me. Never cared what they thought. And when people ask me "why?" I usually respond "why not?" Or "why don't you do what I do?" (or something like that)

[EpsilonX]

I always have a hard time explaining why I don't, simply because I don't think it's something I need to justify. Somebody asked me "out of curiosity, why don't you?" he's a cool dude and asked in like a polite, actually interested way instead of the usual "man wtf is wrong with you be a man" kinda way and i just didn't know what to say. I basically said something like "i just never saw the point or had any interest...and it never really came up, and I don't really wanna change that"

[ROFLBRYCE]

I drink now and then, because I loosen up and get friendlier. If I'm with people that I'm comfortable around, I feel guilty drinking and I don't enjoy it. But at bigger parties, it helps me loosen up and be more friendly instead of just quiet and reserved. I want to be happy when I drink, and enjoy it. I don't wanna be forced into it or feel like I have to. Lots of people up here are like "You drink? No? That's cool too" Canada <3

Drugs and cigarettes/cigars are a no-go though. Most of my friends do that stuff...But they're really cool about it. If I ever go chill with them, they'll hold off on weed. I could care less about smoking, just don't wanna get into it myself. Killer expensive habit....ucwatididthere? But yeah. I'm glad I've got friends that can be like that. If they wanna go smoke weed and stuff though, I don't care about that either. I just don't wanna be around when they do so I'll just head on home or find something else to do.

[Ilyich Valken]

Drugs and cigarettes/cigars are a no-go though. Most of my friends do that stuff...But they're really cool about it. If I ever go chill with them, they'll hold off on weed. I could care less about smoking, just don't wanna get into it myself. Killer expensive habit....ucwatididthere? But yeah. I'm glad I've got friends that can be like that. If they wanna go smoke weed and stuff though, I don't care about that either. I just don't wanna be around when they do so I'll just head on home or find something else to do.

This. I can't stand being around people when they smoke most of the time. The except being my dad or uncle, and a couple of my friends (and the friend's I'm comfortable with when they smoke do cigars.) Other than that, I get the **** away. Just this past Friday I had to sit in a car as my friend's mom drove and smoked, and I didn't feel good when I woke up that morning, so I felt like puking when I got to school, and even more so when I got home that day. :/ Need to get my car fixed..

[EpsilonX]

This. I can't stand being around people when they smoke most of the time. The except being my dad or uncle, and a couple of my friends (and the friend's I'm comfortable with when they smoke do cigars.) Other than that, I get the **** away. Just this past Friday I had to sit in a car as my friend's mom drove and smoked, and I didn't feel good when I woke up that morning, so I felt like puking when I got to school, and even more so when I got home that day. :/ Need to get my car fixed..

If you're gonna smoke in a car when noone else is around that's one thing, but if you're gonna do it with other people around...thats kinda rude I think.

[Jaykub]

I smoke, I drink and if you don't want to that's totally cool with me and that's how it should be.

[Psychotray]

I drink alcohol and I dont think there is anything wrong with it, as long as its in moderation and not to satisfy an addiction.
And I smoked weed a few times before, but not anymore, because I dont want to get cancer like my Pop did :p

[Exentenzed]

I've done both, at one time i smoked all the time, but one day i just got sick of not having a clear head. I don't regret it because it's a part of my life, and i had fun. Anyway, i stopped both and my social circle realy shrank, don't mind though. The friends that stuck with me i both respect and love, some of them drink, some smoke, some does both or neither. It's not any of my buisness.

But to Eps: For standing by what you think is right for you, respect. :)

[paecmaker]

All honor to you eps for standing up to your believes, I know one from my old class that used to be straight edge. Sadfully during a party other people from my class just confronted him several times and said things like, why dont you want, come on you have to try it, how can you say that you dont want it when you havent tried it. Stuff like that, they accually practically forced him to try and he started drinking more.

I felt sad for him because that wasnt who he accually was, that was the first tiem he drank. Now I think hes stopped drinking again so thats good.

I dont smoke but I do drink in certain times, mostly at parties but I have never gotten drunk and I dont want to, its not the reason I drink.

[Mizel]

I smoke pot and drink. I have friends that do also and friends that dont. Or friends that just smoke weed and dont drink or vice versa. We all hang out together and its never been an issue. If its not your thing, its not your thing- simple as that. I never understood why people felt the need to try and pressure others into things they arent interested in. When I first starting smoking, I asked to try it- I wasnt harassed into it. I would never look down on a friend or stop hanging out with them for not just because I did.....

[EpsilonX]

All honor to you eps for standing up to your believes, I know one from my old class that used to be straight edge. Sadfully during a party other people from my class just confronted him several times and said things like, why dont you want, come on you have to try it, how can you say that you dont want it when you havent tried it. Stuff like that, they accually practically forced him to try and he started drinking more.

Well, people were really tryin to pressure me into starting smoking weed today. However, I defended myself to the point where the one person had no argument against what I was trying to say, and was just saying that what I was saying made no sense. He was obviously becoming frustrated, and our friend (who was the other guy that also suggested I should try it, but not nearly to the extent of the other one) was starting to agree with me that my claims were exceedingly valid and his were nonsensical. My claims went as such:
1. The vast majority of people do not need to try kissing a guy to know they're not attracted to men, so why should I have to try smoking weed to know that I don't want to have drugs in my life?
2. Drugs are similar to having sex in the sense that once you try it, you can never take it back, and I take pride in the form of me having smoking/drinking/recreational drugs "virginity" (i mean, i've drank pop which contains caffeine and taken allergy/headache medicine, which are all drugs, but never for recreation)

so his argument is, that since i've had prescription drugs in the past (which i used for the intended effect and only because of that, not for recreation) but says that since some people have prescriptions to aderall and they snort them and stuff, that anybody who has any prescription drug does it for recreation...something like that. We all agreed that this doesn't make any sense, yet he still continued the argument, all the while I was getting continually pissed off, and eventually snapped and told him off, and said that if he continues i'm going to become even more of an a-hole and that i know he doesn't want that to happen, at which point the other people in the car started talkin about band practice. When we got back to campus, I instinctively turned into the dorm parking lot (which is usually where i drop them off at night) and he goes "you went the wrong way" so i said "ill turn around" to which he responds "f*** it just drop me off anywhere i don't ********** care im getting the f*** out of here" and as i drove away I saw him mouthing the f word or something.

Now, do people see me as weak or something? I don't particularly think i'm an easy target; in fact, i've never succumbed to peer pressure, yet often being the target of it. I can see in high school something like that going on, but now that we're all adults in college, it's getting old. Live life your way and don't worry about other people's choices. This guy is a vegetarian, and I don't go around saying he's stupid for not eating meat.

Another thing that i'm starting to feel is maybe I should stop trying to justify myself. Not in the way you think, i'm very okay with my actions and my decisions regarding the topic, but whenever people ask I always try to explain it and say this is why, so they understand and respect it, as opposed to me just being a jerk and saying "i just don't want to, this is my way if you don't like it then f.o.a.d. " but i'm starting to think that maybe that would be the better alternative...would that work better? Would people stop giving me so much crap? I certainly don't want to be perceived as one of those pretentious a-hole straight edge kids that pushes his beliefs onto everyone around him. In fact, I just wrote a bunch of paragraphs about how much I hate that. You just read them, too (i'm assuming). I honestly don't think that's the right decision because there are people that at first tried to get me to smoke weed and drink but after they understood that I was serious about not wanting to they stopped, except for the occasional remark every now and then (which I honestly don't mind, its just somebody i know wanting to share something that they find fun with me)

What do you think?

[Synge]

Most potheads I know are too chill to care about whether I smoke or not. But there was a kid in high school, one of those fake stoners that make it so obvious they're full of sh*t; Always talking about how big of a bowl he smoked and how baked he was the night before and how cool that makes him.. He's really the only person that has given me **** for not smoking weed.

Also, I think you put up a good argument Eps.

[Muffincat]

Yeah, no, eps, I think the people you know are just crazy. I would get mild **** for not smoking/drinking, but never to a very big extent. It was mildly annoying because I don't care if other people drink/smoke, but I don't want to and I'm not going to try and push it on others. Usually once I said to someone that I didn't smoke or drink, they'd either ask me, "Why not?" or just accept it. Getting the "Why not?" was the annoying part, because I don't really think I need to explain myself, and it's not like people ever ask "Well, why do you drink?"

Most people drink for stupid reasons, anyway. It's not a big deal. It's your body; do what you want with it as long as it isn't infringing on anyone else.

Which...well... you're a lot more likely to infringe on someone else if you're drinking. Just sayin'. :P

[EpsilonX]

Usually once I said to someone that I didn't smoke or drink, they'd either ask me, "Why not?" or just accept it. Getting the "Why not?" was the annoying part, because I don't really think I need to explain myself, and it's not like people ever ask "Well, why do you drink?"

well, it depends on how they ask to be honest. Some people are used to knowing people that smoke, so somebody asked me "out of curiosity, why don't you smoke?" So I explained my reasoning and he understood, never spoke of it again. His friend though always bugs me about it and last night i just couldn't take it anymore. I know a few people who are retards about it though, and they're not people I can avoid (my cousin for example)

[Synge]

Thought I'd share a poem I wrote in high school cause it goes well with the thread :P

Wake up in the morning smashed
Take the car to get some gas
What's that smell it smells like hash?
I see 10 ounces on the dash
Itchy butt I scratch my ass
What the hell is that a rash?
Turn around it's Kevin Nash
My face this buff man soon will bash
Cause holy ****, I stole his stash
..Must have been a crazy night


Wrote it for our Poetry Unit in English, tight asses actually threatened me with suspension and called my parents.

[Trunks]

I've never had any problems with peer pressure or anything. The people at my school never cared if you drank or smoked. So I never had to lose any friends because of alcohol or drugs. I drink occasionally, maybe a couple parties on the weekends every now and then. I tried smoking a few times, really not my thing, I don't like it. I think maybe because im in such a unpopulated area that people don't really care what you do. At least that's the way I am, I really don't care what my friends do, unless it's something that can really harm them, then free feel to do it.

[Ailithic]

Synge I love your poem. ::-)

and Epsilon you said you and I quote

"i don't fall victim to peer pressure or bullying at all"

yet the fact you have taken a small fraction or amount of time to post all of your anger and or frustration about how people have been 'pressuring' you shows you are in fact bailing under the social stress people are giving you.

From what I recon you have a few choices.

-tell everyone to stick it :azn: (my personal choice)
-deny, deny, deny (wait this is what you are already doing)
-go roll a fatty and zone out in the hammock (just because I quoted this from 2 and a half men doesn't mean this isn't a viable option)
-do something radical to create a new image for yourself (to much work if you ask me)

[paecmaker]

If you are tired of always explaining to them why you dont smoke or drink dont tell them. Just tell them that you simply dont want to try and its because of personal matters. Ask them if they are ok with that and hope for a yes, its not like their whole world ruptures because you dont want to smoke weed or anything.

[Ailithic]

haha I doubt, To put it bluntly that even if he did people wouldn't care much. It would be a good display of self worth but would it get his point across? possibly not mainly because they aren't particularly worried about whether he does or not they just want him to fit into their standards. (Or they wanna annoy him).

either way he needs to slowly set his boundaries make sure people are clear with them and if they can't accept it then they shouldn't be noticed (saying that I am clear friends are important and didn't want to say they aren't worth the time of day if they can't accept you for who you are, because I don't fully understand his [YOUR] situation)