10 year old hangs herself after bullying

[Sunsetforgotten]

Ten-year-old was bullied before she killed herself, family says - NY Daily News (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ten-year-old-bullied-killed-family-article-1.977398?localLinksEnabled=false)

It is pathetic that our world has come to this. Bullying is becoming a growing issue, and I don't see the teachers/principals doing anything towards stopping it. My brother and myself were both bullied throughout middle school, not so much in high school. I saw the affect it had on him, and it breaks my heart. I can only hope change is made to make things better for children in school.

[LiNuX]

That's terrible. Stuff like this is happening too often.

The teacher should be held responsible for not stepping in. The parents should have done something too when she came home crying.

[Mizel]

That's horrible :(

[ZXDarknessfalls]

This is a prime example of why we still need to be able to hit kids. And no I am not making fun of this, this is really horrible to hear about. But if a little girl is being bullied like this and no one does anything to stop it I want the right to backhand the one doing it. (Yes there would be to many factors for me to ever actually want to hit a child, but when you see something like this...? Someone out there has gotta understand where I am coming from)

[Sotanji]

This is a prime example of why we still need to be able to hit kids. And no I am not making fun of this, this is really horrible to hear about. But if a little girl is being bullied like this and no one does anything to stop it I want the right to backhand the one doing it. (Yes there would be to many factors for me to ever actually want to hit a child, but when you see something like this...? Someone out there has gotta understand where I am coming from)

I understand exactly where you are comeing from, but this is truly sad and terrible. People need to stand up and stop being so passive, I'm not saying the little girl is at fault at all, but to Menotti honestly seems like people are becoming too passive and carefree lately.

[ZXDarknessfalls]

Exactly! I feel like everyone becoming so passive and everything is actually making things worse. A kid can't stand up for himself anymore without the risk of a fight and the resulting punishment and then some : (

[Sotanji]

In my school the rule was if a fight started both participants would get fined, only acception was if you got hit THREE times and a witness saw it and confirmed it, before you struck back. Which IMO is ridiculous.

[ZXDarknessfalls]

In my school the rule was if a fight started both participants would get fined, only acception was if you got hit THREE times and a witness saw it and confirmed it, before you struck back. Which IMO is ridiculous.

And this is how it is most places now :/ So messed up. If someone starts a fight with you and you don't hit back you still can get fined (and a lot of the time do) unless there are witnesses who say otherwise, in which case the person is bound to get harassed about not fighting back later by other people.

[CraeSC111]

Hmm I think its kinda sad that she took her life. I myself was the victim of bullying through some of middle school. Never really felt too bad about it or felt near to the point of taking my life. Eventually I figured out the bully had home problems and I ridiculed him so much about it made him cry. He never bothered me again. But back to the girl, I think that children these days don't have the self image and self esteem they used to. They are so caught up in what others think if them

[Mizel]

Hmm I think its kinda sad that she took her life. I myself was the victim of bullying through some of middle school. Never really felt too bad about it or felt near to the point of taking my life. Eventually I figured out the bully had home problems and I ridiculed him so much about it made him cry. He never bothered me again. But back to the girl, I think that children these days don't have the self image and self esteem they used to. They are so caught up in what others think if them

Same here. Hell I was bullied up until the end of middle school…. until all the kids became scared of me, and then just wouldn’t talk to me lol But I never felt the urge to kill myself either. At 10 years old, there is something else seriously wrong on top of all the bullying if you’re even *thinking*about killing yourself. Im assuming the news just left out any additional details. Kind of like Columbine being blamed on music and not the real issue.

[Kink3bird]

Something is happening to the new generation of youth and I'm not sure what it is. It all seemed to start snowballing after Columbine. Maybe it's the new technology drastically changing the social aspects of children or maybe it's a change is parent's attitudes towards being involved in a child's well-being but something needs to change.

The leading cause of death for young people now is suicide and for some reason no one seems to be bothered by that. To me that's just bat-**** insane.
It's a horrible situation and it's either they hurt or kill themselves or hurt or kill others first. I feel like too many parents and teachers are just telling the victims to just ignore them, don't stand up for yourself just ignore them.. well this bull**** pacifist attitude isn't working.

It's probably one of the toughest problems to solve. How do you teach kids to stand up for themselves without being overtly-violent? How do you teach kids that bullying is wrong when it is inherently apart of the social development for humans? How do you even get these kids to talk? Most of the victims know it'll just get worse by tattling and most are so embarrassed their parents know nothing about it until it's too late...

I seriously am at a loss for ideas. I feel bad for the youth of today and feel as time has shown it's only going to get worse. The number of school massacres is on the rise and so is suicide... someone save them.

[CraeSC111]

I don't think technology has much of a part in what you described. I'd say it would be because of the degradation of morals that we have been seeing in America for a long time. Look at all the stuff that's acceptable now that wouldn't have been thought of 2 or 3 generations before. Look at how many people don't have a religious affiliation. They don't formally teach about morals in schools as much anymore. They don't teach as much critical thinking and life skills.

[Mizel]

Lol You don’t need to be religious to be a good person and have good morals >_< Im not religious, and I know the difference between right and wrong. I don’t need to be frightened by the concept of ‘hell’ to not murder someone or do bad things. Just in the same way that I don’t need to do good things simply to get rewarded by the concept of getting into ‘heaven’. Nor is school where morals need to be taught. That should be something that you learn from your family, or just know. Actually, it really should just be common sense.

Bullying is nothing new. It has been around since the beginning of time. The question is, why can’t kids nowadays handle it? I was bullied from the time I started school until the time I left. Verbally harassed, physically harassed…. never once did I ever consider killing myself. I hear my parents and my grandparents talk about being bullied. They obviously, didn’t consider killing themselves.

But one thing is for sure, is that something in our social structure has changed an awful lot. Perhaps it’s the fact that we’re all way beyond desensitized to violence. I imagine that seeing or hearing about suicide wasn’t a very common thing many years ago, and now you hear about things much worse and shrug it off. Perhaps it’s the fact that parents don’t pay enough attention to their kids now, or that if a kid is misbehaving nowadays the first action is to medicate them instead of punish them. When I was a kid, if I did something bad- I got punished, not put on adderall or Ritalin.

Anyways, aside from just the bullying part, society as a whole I believe is going downhill and it’s quite scary.

[Sunsetforgotten]

Honestly, I believe a huge contributing factor is the media. What is becoming acceptable to expose children to is increasing heavily. We see violence, drugs, and death on TV every day, and younger children aren't immune to it either.

[ROFLBRYCE]

Wow this is crazy. I can't believe people aren't opening their eyes to this.

My best friend from grade 7/8 went through a rough time, his little sister committed suicide from their family's situation, hiding it and letting it burden her for so long. Imo parents need to raise their kids so they can comfortably talk about things, without feeling scared or in trouble to do so. I never had that and am slowly working on getting there NOW with my gf, and lemme say that it's a hard life keeping quiet in fear. I hope the family and friends recover a little bit and get the respect they need in this situation.

[Kink3bird]

Lol You don’t need to be religious to be a good person and have good morals >_< Im not religious, and I know the difference between right and wrong.

Yea seriously religion has nothing to do with the situation here.

I still think it's technology. Kids are being brought up with the anonymity the internet provides and it's become a outlet for teenage angst and frustration as well as focusing that anger towards others.
Just look at the comments below YouTube videos, mostly kids behind their computer screen picking fights because they were bullied at school and then this snowballs back into real life.

The internet is like the wild west and I think it's teaching kids that one, their opinions matter because they can see it on a screen. Two, there are no rules on the internet and it becomes a center for hate.

I think the whole media to blame is bull****. I suggest watching "Bowling for Columbine". It's pretty dated now but a brilliant movie showing how the media has just been a scapegoat for societies problems.

Example: Eric and Dylan of Columbine notoriety USED video games and music as a outlet for their anger, it didn't inspire them, they used it for their own sick needs. In the movie no one ever asked "Well maybe it's because a giant military facility is the towns biggest employer?".
What's a bigger message to kids and violence: Growing up next to your dad's job where he builds ICBMs to feed you or a Marilyn Manson song?


Perhaps it’s the fact that we’re all way beyond desensitized to violence.
Also a cool fact. I read the book "Generation Kill" and how the people making up the vast majority of our soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan are kids who grew up on Playstation (suburban white kids heavily desensitized to violence) and inner city minorities who were on the "battlefield" of their projects everyday. It was fascinating to see how this is making a incredible new solider in America.

Bowling for Columbine clip everyone should watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrHFB2KP8fc

[Mizel]

I still think it's technology. Kids are being brought up with the anonymity the internet provides and it's become a outlet for teenage angst and frustration as well as focusing that anger towards others.
Just look at the comments below YouTube videos, mostly kids behind their computer screen picking fights because they were bullied at school and then this snowballs back into real life.

I agree that it's very much related as well. Not a hundred percent, but definitely a huge contributor. I think that another huge contributor is closed mindedness of people, and that mixed with the internet is lethal. Like you said about youtube comments... normally when I read them it's people ripping each other apart for their opinions. Closed mindedness breeds these lies and hatred for anything that you don't consider normal or dont like and the internet and media just exacerbate it.



Also a cool fact. I read the book "Generation Kill" and how the people making up the vast majority of our soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan are kids who grew up on Playstation (suburban white kids heavily desensitized to violence) and inner city minorities who were on the "battlefield" of their projects everyday. It was fascinating to see how this is making a incredible new solider in America.
I kind of this is one of those skewed studies. Like, how eating oatmeal is linked to cancer. Of course it is, because a lot of old people eat oatmeal and a lot of older also people have cancer. But oatmeal doesn't cause cancer. Of course most our soldiers are kids who grew on Playstation, because most kids played video games.
But I do agree that video games lead to desensitized violence. Im not saying people that play military-ish FPS’s like MW, or any game really, are going to be violent in real life, but they will def become desensitized. It actually bothers me to play those games because I feel uncomfortable, even though it’s obviously not real life, shooting realistic looking people in a realistic war scene…. Just creeps me out lol

[Kink3bird]

I kind of this is one of those skewed studies. Like, how eating oatmeal is linked to cancer. Of course it is, because a lot of old people eat oatmeal and a lot of older also people have cancer. But oatmeal doesn't cause cancer. Of course most our soldiers are kids who grew on Playstation, because most kids played video games.
But I do agree that video games lead to desensitized violence. Im not saying people that play military-ish FPS’s like MW, or any game really, are going to be violent in real life, but they will def become desensitized. It actually bothers me to play those games because I feel uncomfortable, even though it’s obviously not real life, shooting realistic looking people in a realistic war scene…. Just creeps me out lol

I see what your saying about the Generation Kill bit but what it showed was how little of a problem soldiers were having adjusting to a war zone and the violence dealt with everyday.

It's kinda like what you just said about not being able to play games like that because it bothers you, for me it's the opposite. I'm looking for the next thing to bring me closer to more over-the-top realistic violence in a video game and I feel maybe that's how some of the soldiers were. I have no problem picking up COD and playing for hours kill after kill and maybe that has helped the soldiers deal with it.

I'm not comparing war to a video game so please don't think that. I'm just saying I'd be very curious to see how much easier it is for someone growing up playing violent games to make the transition into real life violence such as war.

[Mizel]

Oh, I totally see what you’re saying and I agree. I think that’s definitely a logical conclusion, that playing these games would help you in some way adjust to a war setting. Which could be attributed to the whole desensitization thing.

It’s funny cause I think of the movie Idiocracy and how that really could be our destiny lol They’ve already proven in studies that we are becoming stupider due to the internet…and desensitized to violence via media. Being violent and stupid can not have a good outcome :P

[LemonRising]

Freaking ten years old... that's crazy.
Children shouldn't even know ABOUT suicide.

There's no community anymore, no filters on internet and information. Just so much wrong with the world now and there's too many people, no way to help everyone.

[Muffincat]

I haven't found any data for 2006+, but here is a graph of suicide rates of 1950-2005:

http://www.who.int/mental_health/media/unitstates.pdf

(Now, this isn't the whole story because suicide rates for women are a lot lower, but attempted suicide rates for women are generally much higher, as well as many other things)

From this, I wouldn't really blame "technology." They have remained relatively similar across time. The internet definitely allows people to be total jerks, but I don't think that's a major reason that people commit suicide. It obviously can be, but usually it's something that happens in their family/every day life. Often the internet can be an escape.

I think that we need to better educate people about depression and suicide. Our society isn't generally focused on people's emotional needs, and it has been that way since before technology even started becoming an issue. If we encouraged empathy and understanding, then the world would be a better place... but we usually don't. And I definitely agree that the internet is a place that can encourage people to be worse than they wold be in real life... but honestly, a lot of bullying/abuse happens face-to-face. The internet actually exposes people's true characters in a more visible way... but I, personally, wouldn't place the blame on technology.

Depression is really serious, but people act like it isn't. Many people have a completely distorted view of what it is/what the signs are/if it even matters. People are always making jokes about suicide/cutting, and that certainly doesn't help. It is often belittled and considered "weak," and that needs to change :/

Basically, I'd blame it on cultural issues rather than technological ones.

[hidekipooj]

1st of all. I want to say that the maturity on this forum is something I really admire. Most places on the internet would have nothing but troll comments about something like this.

2nd of all. I think almost EVERY child gets bullied. But it sounds like this was an ongoing issue that wasn't even looked at by either parents or teachers which is something that I find repulsive. It's one thing to come home from school crying and saying that you were being made fun of. It's another thing to outright REQUEST to be home schooled. How many young girls at the age when socializing is one of the most important parts of childhood would want to be away from the one place where socializing is at its highest. If I was her parent and had heard that to me my first thought would have been, ''okay...this is obviously getting bad/out of hand" Time to bash some heads in at the school.

[Saph]

In Denmark we have 0th grade, kindergarden. Then we have all the way up to 9th, sometimes 10th grade, and after that you can spend 2-5 years in a higher level of your own choice. I spent 3rd grade - 9th grade being viciously bullied, beaten, humiliated, emotional, physical, mental abuse, every day, for up to 2 hours a day in total(It was those *****es' favorite pass time during recess, hunting my ass like an animal). I've switched schools 4 times in my life, in 3 of them it was bad, in 1 of them, 5th - 7th grade, it was hell on earth bad. I could spend an entire day lasting 5 hours spent locked in a basement closet that the janitor opened to clean out the empty class rooms.

How come it went on for so long? My parents were in denial, and just told me to stop being such a whiner when the boyplaying got rougher than I could handle. The teachers didn't care enough, and would rather just have their day be as easy to get through as possible so they could come home and spend their misserable, empty lives watching TV or collecting postage stamps. So I had no one but myself to pull myself out of the gutter.

I did NOT take my own life however....

A 10 year old who finds insults about being overweight bad enough to kill herself for? Then there's already a major issue going on in there.

But yeah, bullying is a global issue that I'd say is about as close to terrorism as a bomb strapped lunatic running into a Macy's store would be. Instead of killing innocent adults going about their lives, they sabotage the self respect of potential world leaders, or that doctor who finds a cure for general cancer. The problem is you cant just lift a rifle and remove the problem by pushing a botton. There have to be laws to keep the bullying from happening, but how do you make a law that would keep the kids from shoving the poor bullied one into an alley behind a school and beat the crap out of him?

[Sunsetforgotten]

1st of all. I want to say that the maturity on this forum is something I really admire. Most places on the internet would have nothing but troll comments about something like this.

Very true. I was worried about posting it because you watch youtube videos on troubled kids and see a ton of terrible responses.

On a related note, I am just hopeful that parents will start to push the issue on bullying. Tell the principals when their kids come home with a black eye or tells them that they were pushed around on the bus. It all starts there; how people respond to their children getting hassled. And while I do believe that ALMOST every kid gets bullied, not everyone is the same. Certain people have sensitivity issues and take it to heart more than others.

[CraeSC111]

I would have to agree that this isn't an issue of exposure through technology, but a lack of education or even a defect in values, morals, etc (I'm sure thus last part wasn't conveyed properly). Exposure to certain sensitive topics, like death or a big one is sex, can be good as long as the proper lessons are learned. For example when I had a sex education class back in high school they didn't try to hide any of the facts about sex. They told us about the good parts, the bad parts, and all those parts you wish you never had to see. If small children were taught about avoiding bullying and avoiding becoming bullies we would have less of a bullying problem. If they are taught about suicide they will probably tend to avoid it. Teaching children (or anyone for that matter) about life is generally better than letting them learn about it themselves (to a point of course)

[Mizel]

I would have to agree that this isn't an issue of exposure through technology, but a lack of education or even a defect in values, morals, etc (I'm sure thus last part wasn't conveyed properly). Exposure to certain sensitive topics, like death or a big one is sex, can be good as long as the proper lessons are learned. For example when I had a sex education class back in high school they didn't try to hide any of the facts about sex. They told us about the good parts, the bad parts, and all those parts you wish you never had to see. If small children were taught about avoiding bullying and avoiding becoming bullies we would have less of a bullying problem. If they are taught about suicide they will probably tend to avoid it. Teaching children (or anyone for that matter) about life is generally better than letting them learn about it themselves (to a point of course)

I totally agree. It’s obvious that something has changed socially with either bullying being more prevalent or kids not knowing how to deal with it… and I think that they really should be taught about both in school. Parents had no idea how to approach talking sex with their kids, so they implemented sex ed in schools (I find this extremely sad, that parents cant handle it so they let the schools do it. But either way, at least they are learning from someone). They should def do that same for bullying/suicide…..

I mean when it comes down to it, that’s kind of what guidance counselors are for- but the people in the system just can be just as bad as kids when it comes to bullying, that’s the sad part. I remember when I was in middle school, I was the only “goth” kid in the entire school. Because of that I got crap all the time. Only not from the kids, from the counselor and principle… I remember I was sent to the guidance counselor who made me get evaluated by the school psych, just because I looked different- because I mean, looking different means your eff’d up in the head apparently…. I also got sent to guidance counselor because all of my friends wore black lipstick to school, and of course it must have been my influence on them so I was to blame…. And after many trips to the counselor over my appearance and many calls from parents of scared kids that said I did voodoo on them *rolls eyes*…. I finally got sent to the principle’s office. When I got in there he shut the door, ripped his cross necklace off, shoved it in my face, and started screaming until he was red in the face, veins popping out, absolutely irate, about religion and why he wore that cross and what was wrong with me and blah blah blah….. In hindsight, I could have sued the shiz outta that school… But anyways, my point being- if kids are bullied by students and the ones that are supposed to correct things and make them better, act like that- then who are they supposed to turn to?

[CraeSC111]

On a somewhat unrelated not who on the forum has actually been bullied and how have you dealt with it? And I can see you sitting in a principles office with him yelling be gone satin and throwing holy water on you :p

[Mizel]

Lol Yeaaaa, looking back on it now- it was hilarious. But at the time, it was horrifying :P

I was bullied every day from Kindergarten to middle school. Then then in middle school, the kids were too scared of me. And in high school, the kids that bullied me actually attempted talked to me and would say, “wow, you’re really nice.”…. like, oh really…. being different DOESN’T mean Im a horrible person, you friggin douchebags -__- lol

But I just took it *shrugs* Fought back a couple times, but that was rare….. never tattled, and certainly never thought about killing myself…. even as a little kid I understood that some people were just mean, and that’s how life is and always will be so you might as well get over it instead of dwelling on it. I do think kids need to be prepared for bullying and those that bully need to be reprimanded… but kids also need to be prepared for real life, because in reality- it sucks. And in the real world, when a co-worker or boss or stranger, is mean to you… there is no running to your parents or principle- but at least they’ll be more aware of how to deal with these situations.