Asking the father for marriage permission

[thedeparted]

Whats your opinion on it? I certainly don't believe in it. My gf's sister was getting *****ed at by her parents about this because her husband didn't and I popped in how I don't plan on it and her dad said would kick my ass and her mom said that i had to because that's how it's done and I said I don't believe in it and then she like then I wont be marrying and I lol'd and said she couldn't control her daughter.

[CraeSC111]

Don't see the point. You'd do it whether he wanted you to or not. Just make sure he knows that you're marrying her

[Synge]

Depends. I don't think it's a big deal, but in the future if I like my potential wife's dad, or at least think of him as a good man I'll ask him, just because it seems like a respectful thing to do and I'd want him to know I respect him.

If he's a dick and/or I know he'll say no, then **** him.

[thedeparted]

Yeah when we get married we'll be informing them months in advance also and yeah he's a prick. Also them threatening me makes me not want to do it all the more

[CraeSC111]

That's a lesson they should teach in kindergarten. Don't be a douche to someone when you want something from them

[Trunks]

I'd personally ask permission just for the reasons synge said. Just the respectable thing to do, I mean his answer wouldn't change my actions, but I'd still ask.

[thedeparted]

That's a lesson they should teach in kindergarten. Don't be a douche to someone when you want something from them

This makes it seem like the father has ownership over the daughter. She's an adult, she's a woman, she can make her own decision and the parents don't need to be involved. This isn't the 50s where this stuff is relevant, it's 2012 where its another where pre marital sex happens, woman are treated as equals..ect

[LemonRising]

I think its more of a respect thing and I'm pretty sure you ask just to ask, as a sign that you value the fathers opinion or whatever. I don't think any father ever plans to say no, they just want to be informed.
Even just letting the father know your intentions beforehand and not really asking him would probably go over well. Sit down for lunch together and go "bro, I'mma marry yo daughta, she a fine ass lady."

It's always easier to get along with the parents, especially if they're a big part of your girlfriend's life.


and Jak lol why would you even tell them you don't plan on it? You're just kicking the hornets nest there lmao

[thedeparted]

Yeah it wasn't very smart of me to state my opinion mid argument. On one hand I figured they wouldn't react that way as im white and would have known them 3-4 years. They have never met the sisters now husband and he's from eqypt and her dad is racist and thinks he's from al qaeda

[LemonRising]

LOL oh man that's pretty funny
Good ol' racist dads.

I wouldn't really worry about it until the time comes anyways haha

[thedeparted]

I don't, What are they going to do ya know? When we get married we'll be in our own home for 1-2 years lol

[hidekipooj]

I think its more of a respect thing and I'm pretty sure you ask just to ask, as a sign that you value the fathers opinion or whatever. I don't think any father ever plans to say no, they just want to be informed.
Even just letting the father know your intentions beforehand and not really asking him would probably go over well. Sit down for lunch together and go "bro, I'mma marry yo daughta, she a fine ass lady."


This. It shows the father that you have respect. Not just for his daughter but also for him. To have the decency to acknowledge his existence and to form a bond of trust and communication.

It is the 21st century and women aren't owned by their parents, however if you had a daughter. Wouldn't you prefer her future husband to come to you first and say ''howdy, your daughter is in good hands'' before whisking her away from (for the most part) the rest of your life

[LemonRising]

Pretty much. I mean.. dads and their daughters man. They don't think they own them but they just want whats best for their 'princess' and they're very protective.
From my own experience with my dad its just this huge fear about their girl getting hurt.

[paecmaker]

Like everyone else said, its about respect and to show the parents you mean it and that you truly love her.

If the parents like you both of you will have it better of. They doesnt have control over her directly but it would be better for your GF if she doesnt need to be in the middle of two strong wills(you and her parents) This is only if you are unlucky, mostly it will go well anyway.



Now Im not telling you how to make this, its only suggestions. But whatever happens I wish you well.



(sorry for bad english :p)

[jobert]

If you really love your girlfriend you would do anything just to get her. Asking for the father for marriage permission is just showing respect to the family and guaranteeing them that you will their daughter happy and you'll be a responsible husband.

[Mizel]

I think it's a ridiculous tradition. It was considered out of respect for the brides family however that was only because women were thought of as objects "that 'belonged' to her father before marriage." Id be offended if my fiancé asked my father for my hand because first of all, just because my dad gives his okay doesn’t mean that’s what I want. Secondly, Im not an object and it's really not anyone else's decision except for mine. Thirdly, what if the dad says no? If the dad says no and you know that person is meant for you, it's not going to make a difference anyways and then he's just going to be pissed off that you went through with it.

There's a reason why old traditions die and things change.

[thedeparted]

This. It shows the father that you have respect. Not just for his daughter but also for him. To have the decency to acknowledge his existence and to form a bond of trust and communication.

It is the 21st century and women aren't owned by their parents, however if you had a daughter. Wouldn't you prefer her future husband to come to you first and say ''howdy, your daughter is in good hands'' before whisking her away from (for the most part) the rest of your life

I would like to know of the wedding before hand, and date. But wouldn't want asked blessing or permission. I might punch him in the nads if my future son in law does that to me.

[ROFLBRYCE]

Depends. I don't think it's a big deal, but in the future if I like my potential wife's dad, or at least think of him as a good man I'll ask him, just because it seems like a respectful thing to do and I'd want him to know I respect him.

If he's a dick and/or I know he'll say no, then **** him.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It's good to know that you'd have the approval of her family, and they see you fit to care for and provide for their daughter.

If that's not what you want to do though, then hey that's your decision alone to make.

[Muffincat]

I think it's a ridiculous tradition. It was considered out of respect for the brides family however that was only because women were thought of as objects "that 'belonged' to her father before marriage." Id be offended if my fiancé asked my father for my hand because first of all, just because my dad gives his okay doesn’t mean that’s what I want. Secondly, Im not an object and it's really not anyone else's decision except for mine. Thirdly, what if the dad says no? If the dad says no and you know that person is meant for you, it's not going to make a difference anyways and then he's just going to be pissed off that you went through with it.

There's a reason why old traditions die and things change.

I agree.

I wouldn't want the guy I was marrying to ask my father for permission... I'm the one who's giving the permission. My dad has nothing to do with it (though I love my father). I don't even really like how the father is the one who walks the bride down the aisle. At my sister's wedding, she asked that both parents walk her down.

But yeah, I pretty much totally agree with this. Ask ME to marry you, don't ask my dad if it's okay to ask me.

[Yasdnil]

It is a pretty traditional thing to do, and I'm not sure how many people actually do it now. My fiance drove over 120 miles, especially to ask my mum and dad's permission to marry me. I really respected him for the effort he made (and I think my parents did too).