Poem

[KittyCat72]

I have to write a poem in my Reading class because I'm in 7th grade, and this is my portfolio year. I had to add in a bunch of poetry terms like simile, metaphor, alliteration, imagery, and all kinds of stuff so it's not the way I wanted it.
Here is what I have so far:

Taken


I play with her everyday
She cheers me up
And makes my fear go away

This joy will not last long
For when I return
She is gone
She was
Taken

I?m filled with sorrow
That none can make disappear
Over my lost kitten
Who I will never see again
She was
Taken

I feel as if
I am all alone here
Noone will help me
Dissolve the pain,
No shoulder to cry on when
She was
Taken

Endlessly walking
Down a path of dull darkness
I cannot find a light
There is no light
Because
She was
Taken

I call out
No answer
My spirit is as low as a the ground

She was
Taken

Filled with remorse
I wonder
Will this torture
Ever end?

I feel that my soul
Was taken
When
She was
Taken

I bet they wish they hadn't done it
I can tell
Because they gave me
A replacement

She was
The replacement

It is too late
I'll never know
Is my kitten
My dear, loveable kitten
Okay?

She was an angel
And I'll never forget
But the replacement
Is all I have left

She was
Taken


What do you think?

[LiNuX]

wow nice lol, well we are doing poems in my english class lol, AP english, and the poems are so friggin confusing lol, u think it means something, but you are either wrong or thinking the opposite, which is also wrong lol, your's is understandable lol, nice wok, keep it up :)

[souljaa]

Pretty good work so far! Keep it up...Can't wait to read more of your poems :).

[KittyCat72]

:D Thanx!! As you can probably tell, it is about my kitten, Snickers. My parents took her and dropped her off on the side of the road. They made me promise not to write my personal narrative about it, so I wrote that about my dog. My peom and memoir are about my cat.

He he...................

[Drake14]

Nice thing you've got there!

Keep up the good work! ;D

[KittyCat72]

That's just my rough draft. Do any of you have any tips for me?

[souljaa]

:D Thanx!! As you can probably tell, it is about my kitten, Snickers. My parents took her and dropped her off on the side of the road. They made me promise not to write my personal narrative about it, so I wrote that about my dog. My peom and memoir are about my cat.

He he...................


Your parents dropped your kitten off on the side of the road?!..Ouch...THat much suck :(

[KittyCat72]

:( It was devistating.................. :'( :-\
Still not over it, and that was years ago!

[souljaa]

:( It was devistating.................. :'( :-\
Still not over it, and that was years ago!


Ahh..That suckss :(...Must be hard to get through.

[KittyCat72]

Yea, I know. Not the only time they did it though, just the worst. I also had a cat named Tiger before that, and my mom was giving it away without even telling me. I was doing my practical living homework, and I was on the question "How to pets help relieve stress?" when my brother told me to go out side and see what my mom was doing. She told me I could go visit it but I never did.

Really.........no joke. :( :( :(

[souljaa]

Yea, I know. Not the only time they did it though, just the worst. I also had a cat named Tiger before that, and my mom was giving it away without even telling me. I was doing my practical living homework, and I was on the question "How to pets help relieve stress?" when my brother told me to go out side and see what my mom was doing. She told me I could go visit it but I never did.

Really.........no joke. :( :( :(


Danggg..That's....rough..Must have been depressing.

[KittyCat72]

Yes, it was. They did that to all my cats......Rascal, Tear, Shadow, etc. Except for the ones they killed. Too bad, but it's over now. So I can stop thinking about it for a while.

[souljaa]

Yes, it was. They did that to all my cats......Rascal, Tear, Shadow, etc. Except for the ones they killed. Too bad, but it's over now. So I can stop thinking about it for a while.


Uh...Whoa!.Anyways I'll stop talking about it now..Dont' wanna remind you about it..Sorry.

[KittyCat72]

No problem, the only good outcome was inspiration for this poem. Maybe I'll get Distinguished if I'm really lucky!!!

[souljaa]

No problem, the only good outcome was inspiration for this poem. Maybe I'll get Distinguished if I'm really lucky!!!


Good luck :)...The poem's looking great.

[KittyCat72]

:D Well, if anybody has some tips, I'd love to hear them!

[LiNuX]

:DWell, if anybody has some tips, I'd love to hear them!


well, as my english teacher always says, use figurative language, use imagery, like describe a lot of details, the color, how it feels, the shape, anything, metaphors and similies gets attention

these are tips for basic poetry writing, there are more, cant think of any with this headache lol

[KittyCat72]

I've tried to do some of that. I asked my reading teacher how I could put some imagery in it, but she said it showed imagery throughout the poem.

[souljaa]

I've tried to do some of that. I asked my reading teacher how I could put some imagery in it, but she said it showed imagery throughout the poem.


Yeah, that's very true.

[KittyCat72]

See, I thought it may have shown a little but I wasn't completely sure.

[LiNuX]

yea it shows, but like i said, those are basic poetry methods lol, not just for urs, its for people that like to write poems :)

[KittyCat72]

Yea, poems aren't really that good if they have none of those poetry terms at all. They can go without rhyming though.

[Twigz]

That's pretty good...better than anything I would have written probably...

[KittyCat72]

Thanx, it is ok I guess. But like I said, it is just my rough draft. I'm going to try to improve it.

[christopher]

Thats really good, i'm rubbish at things like that :P